I know it can feel like a risk to try a new therapist. You might be coming to me to explore a relationship, feeling, dynamic, or symptom that you’ve been struggling with for a long time. Usually, those struggles are tied to your core values and beliefs about who you are, perhaps as a child, partner, parent, worker, or friend. Even though something about those beliefs is painful to you, it might also be very deeply held and precious. My job is to sit alongside you as we gently look at these relationships. Where might there be room to allow yourself more space to grow or become? Where are you looking for additional clarity? We don’t rush these questions.

As the work continues, you may find that you can set some of these fears and burdens down, leaving them in my office to revisit the following week if you’d like. Your load might start to feel lighter, or the intensity of your distressing symptoms may turn down. Our weekly or twice-weekly sessions start to feel like a journal of sorts, as I help you track all the pieces of yourself. Over time, we begin to notice patterns. Relationships that feel familiar, ways of speaking to ourselves and others that no longer serve us. These patterns help us to develop a sense of who you are as a whole human being. Not just in any particular role, and not just your best parts or the things that you don’t like. A whole person. This image of you is one that we observe with a friendly, compassionate gaze. 

As you get to know yourself for who you really are, in all your complexity, you might start to see that some things in your life start to shift. Perhaps a critical voice softens, or certain relationships start to feel easier to navigate. Questions about work, or dating, or how you present yourself to the world, seem less overwhelming. Throughout, I remain with you as a trusted guide.

“Life does continually go up and down. People and situations are unpredictable and so is everything else. Everybody knows the pain of getting what we don’t want: saints, sinners, winners, losers… We don’t suffer this kind of pain because of our personal inability to get things right.”

Pema Chodron, The Places that Scare You